The Mommy Bloggy

Reflections of a Mother's Heart

Like a Kiss April 20, 2010

Filed under: Parenting with Purpose — Michelle Ferguson @ 7:50 pm

My husband and I are firm believers in spanking our children.  I know this is going to make some people mad, but we believe it is biblical.  Certainly, the method of discipline is different for each family because it is a personal conviction, and I respect that.  One note, though:  we do not spank for every offense!  That’s where godly discernment comes in!

Throughout Proverbs, Christians are admonished to discipline their children.  “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;  the rod of correction will drive it far from him” (Proverbs 22:15).  “Correct your son, and he will give you rest;  yes, he will give delight to your soul” (Proverbs 29:17).  There is a fine line between foolishness and childishness, so make sure you discipline only for the foolishness.  For example, hitting (foolishness) should be corrected, but not an accidental spilling of a glass of milk (childishness).

Spanking, when done in a biblical manner, is quite effective in changing behavior.  The right manner includes never spanking out of or in anger, telling your child how many swats he will receive before it is administered, always pointing out his sin, not only against you, but against God, praying together, and hugging your child and telling him you love him.  (For more on this, I highly recommend Tedd Tripp’s book “Shepherding a Child’s Heart.”)  Discipline like this has an impact, and your child will remember it.  Your child does not want to be out of a harmonious relationship with you, so make sure you reinforce your love for him with a hug.

One day while riding in the car, Logan commented out of the blue to me:  “A spanking is like a kiss.”  I thought that was so introspective, and I told Logan that I agreed with him.  Biblical discipline is sweet!

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Latest Read March 4, 2010

Filed under: Parenting with Purpose — Michelle Ferguson @ 6:26 pm

I love to read, and sometimes I’ve been known to read several books at once.  Right now there are seven books stacked up on my nightstand patiently waiting their turn to be my latest read!  On top of all those is the book I am currently reading, Dr. Kevin Leman’s “Have a New Kid by Friday.”  I ordered this book out of sheer desperation!  If I can borrow a book from the library, that is my first choice.  However with this book, I felt I needed my very own copy so I could underline handy information and have it near for reference.

Dr. Leman is a Christian speaker and author who has raised five children with his wife.  “Have a New Kid by Friday” has proven to be a laugh-out-loud description of MY kids!  It’s like Dr. Leman has been secretly observing our family.  His no nonsense approach to parenting is refreshing.

I can so relate to his description of children who get out of bed to get attention after they’ve just been put to bed, children who suddenly need something when mom gets on the phone, and older kids that send the youngest  “as an advance scout (page 155).”  He gives practical tips on how to parent these little ones in order to teach them responsibility, kindness, respect, and obedience.

Dr. Leman shares advice on how to change your child’s Attitude, Behavior, and Character (ABC’s).  It requires molding their ABC’s by process of modeling our ABC’s.  That may mean some soul searching on the parents’ behalf to change an attitude, behavior, or characteristic that might not be worth modeling.  Ouch!  Dr. Leman also suggests that parents do too much for their kids in the way of reminding them constantly and protecting them from themselves.  Ouch again!  “Sometimes they need to experience the consequences of their decisions…Reality can be a very wonderful teacher (page 178).”

“Have a New Kid by Friday” is a great read, and I highly recommend it.  Have your pen handy!

 

Continue On February 2, 2010

Filed under: Parenting with Purpose — Michelle Ferguson @ 10:14 pm

A friend shared the following poem by Roy Lessin with me last week.  I admit at times I have felt non-contributing.  I complained to my husband recently that I have no special talent, I cannot sing, I cannot play a musical instrument, I cannot sew, and I do not earn a paycheck.  But God has shown me that I am the only person who can take care of my husband and our three children.  I can give a hug, cover a boo boo, wipe a tear, say a word in due season, and be my children’s biggest cheerleader.  Being a wife and mother is the highest calling for a woman because she is making a difference in her little corner of the world, and one day, when her children leave home, they will impact their little corners of the world for the Lord.

“Continue On”

A woman once fretted over the usefulness of her life.  She feared she was wasting her potential being a devoted wife and mother.  She wondered if the time and energy she invested in her husband and children would make a difference.

At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated.  “Is it worth it?” she often wondered.  “Is there something better that I could be doing with my time?”

It was during one of these moments of questioning that she heard the still small voice of her heavenly Father speak to her heart.  “You are a wife and mother because that is what I have called you to be.  Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye.  But I notice.  Most of what you give is done without reward.  But, I am your reward.

Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be without your support.  Your influence upon him is greater than you think and more powerful than you will ever know.  I bless him through your service and honor him through your love.  Your children are precious to Me.  Even more precious than they are to you.  I have entrusted them to your care to raise for Me.  What you invest in them is an offering to Me.

You may never be in the public spotlight.  But your obedience shines as a bright light before Me.  Continue on.  Remember you are My servant.  Do all to please Me.

By Roy Lessin

Wow!  How’s that for encouragement?  We moms are so special to our Heavenly Father.  Don’t ever doubt your high calling!

 

Time Out September 13, 2009

Filed under: Parenting with Purpose — Michelle Ferguson @ 11:57 pm

Some parents put their misbehaving children in Time Out to separate them from the situation and to give them time alone to reflect on what they have done and maybe to give mom time to cool off!  I have occasionally used Time Out, but mainly for my benefit in buying time to decide what in the world to do with my disobedient child!

Time Out is also a good practice for moms!  By that I mean, moms need time with their girlfriends!  We are busy making play dates for our children, but often we get caught up in the busyness of life that we neglect our friendships.  We need to be intensional about forming and nurturing our friendships so that when our children leave the nest, we have friends to do things with!  Like Time Out for a child, Time Out for a mom serves to refocus and rejuvenate.

I had lunch recently with three girlfriends.  We met in a MOPS group two years ago, but have still kept in touch.  We had a two hour lunch!  Now when was the last time that happened?  Usually, I’m cramming a sandwich down my throat or inhaling a salad in between demands for drink refills and endless requests for more of this or more of that!   Not to mention a kitchen that needs to be tidied up after the lunch rush!

My  Girlfriend Lunch was relaxing and enjoyable!  I was even able to eat my entire toasted sandwich before it got cold!  It was wonderful to chat about our struggles, our victories, and yes, our children!  Those two hours proved to be a time of refreshing fellowship that invigorated me for the tasks that lay ahead of me at home.

Time Out for moms is important, and you must make an intensional effort to fit this into your schedule.  Make sure to schedule your Time Out soon!

 

“Dear Jesus, I love you…” September 10, 2009

Filed under: Parenting with Purpose — Michelle Ferguson @ 6:48 pm

I love encouraging my children to pray, and I love even more listening to what comes out of their mouths when they are talking to God.  Sometimes, we as adults think our words have to be big and fancy or we need to be long-winded to make our petitions clear, or if we are praying in front of others, we must pray to impress with our “spirituality.”  However, this is not the case at all.  God wants us to talk to Him just like we talk to our best friend, simply and humbly.

That’s why I love hearing my children’s prayers.  They are simple, honest, and real!  They don’t practice their prayers or write them down so they get them “right.”  They simply come to the Father in their childlike faith that He hears them and will answer them.

We have a friend we pray for almost every night who is paralyzed from the neck down as a result of a horrible accident.  One night, Logan prayed for him and simply stated, “God please make him feel better.”  That was Logan’s way of expressing his heart to the Lord, very simply.

Another night, our two year old wanted to pray.  When it was his turn, he sweetly said, “Dear Jesus, I love you, and…”  It was the simplest and most precious prayer I had heard in a long time.  Luke expressed his heart simply, and God knows exactly.

It doesn’t take big words or complicated sentence structures to communicate with the God who made the heavens and the earth.  He wants us to come to Him simply, with childlike faith and rest in Him for the answers to our prayers.

 

Interruptions September 2, 2009

Filed under: Parenting with Purpose — Michelle Ferguson @ 8:06 pm

Have you ever been interrupted in the middle of a job?  If you are a mom, that is a pretty silly question!  With three children in our home,  I am always being interrupted.  Rarely do I see a job to completion in one sitting.  In fact, it’s really pretty amazing that any job around the house gets done with all the interruptions.  Because by the time I can get back to what I was doing, I have forgotten what I was doing.  So I move on to something else.  Been there?

Just this afternoon, my dear children were playing outside on this beautiful day and, thinking I had a few minutes of peace, I sat down to balance my check book.  All of a sudden, I heard the back door open and Logan shout, “Mom, Lindsay’s wart fell off on the trampoline and it’s bleeding!”  I’m thinking to myself, “Can it wait?  I’m almost done here.”  Lindsay limped in and sat beside me, patiently waiting for a Band-aid.  I left my numbers to administer First-Aid, and then Luke woke up from his nap.  (Maybe Logan’s shouting announcement had something to do with that.)  Seeing Lindsay get a Band-aid reminded Luke that he “needed” a Band-aid too on his week-old scratch.  After a second Band-aid was administered, everyone was thirsty and then they wanted to play with the Moon Sand outside.  Now that they are being entertained outside, I should really get back to that check book (after I finish this blog)!

Interruptions are a part of mom’s lives.  I’ve learned that they can be precious times of ministering to and serving our children (or whomever it is) who happen to need us no matter what we are in the midst of doing.  Consider interruptions God’s divine appointments to give and receive love.  After Luke got his Band-aid he said, “I love you, mommy!”  Aww…the check book can wait!

 

Praying for My Children, Part 4 of 4 August 12, 2009

Filed under: Parenting with Purpose — Michelle Ferguson @ 11:15 am

I will wrap-up my last six prayer points of praying for my children with this post.  It is truly a privilege to pray for our children and to watch how God answers.

*That they will be wholeheartedly sold out to serving Jesus Christ (Romans 12: 1-2)

*That they will be hedged in so that they cannot find their way to the wrong people or the wrong places (Hosea 2:6)

*That their children and grandchildren will know Christ as Savior and serve Him with their whole heart, soul, mind, and strength (Matthew 22:37-38)

*That they will have a strong sense of belonging to a family that is loving and dwells together in unity (Psalm 133; Colossians 3:12-14)

*That when they leave home it would be with an eternal perspective and Christ-like values and characteristics (Isaiah 40:8)

*That their entire lives will be a testimony of the greatness and love of Jesus Christ (Philippians 2:15-16; IThessolonians 5:23)

This is by no means an exhaustive list of things to pray, but it is a great start!  Prayer increases our faith, reduces our stress, relieves our worries, and enriches our lives.  Let’s invest time in daily, devoted prayer for our children!  They are worth  it!